Not a retrospective, per se, on the decade that ended last night. Instead, an effort by yours truly to gain worldwide acclaim and fame.
A brief aside: I am aware that technically, the first decade of this millennium spans the years 2001 THROUGH 2010, but fighting that fight is a one-finned upstream swim against a waterfall of apathy and incredulity. It is not the good fight.
No, this is my attempt to give the decade a less lame name. (There's a junior high poem or a bad pop-rock rhyme in there somewhere.)
Previous attempts at naming the period from 2000 through 2009 have been... well... less than wildly successful, and less than universally embraced, and tinged with negativity. I've heard them called the Double Zeroes, the Aughts, the Naughts, and my personal favorite, the Naughties. The New York Times conducted a "Name that Decade" contest in November. That fizzled somewhat. The website namethedecade.com offers some semi-palatable choices. No clear winners. You can vote for your fave over there, though.
I have a better option, but before we get to it, why not just go with the "Naughties"? I mean, it's fun to say. Any time you can use the word "naughty" without it applying to your toddler, that's a win.
Furthermore, it rhymes nicely with the "Eighties" and the "Nineties" and other such decade names while using a variant of zero. It's very snazzy so far.
And finally, it's somewhat historically appropriate: It's not as if (naught as if? tee hee) the past decade lacked in antiheroes. Enron. WorldCom. FEMA and Katrina. Madoff. Osama. Predatory lenders. Torture memo writers. Warmongers. Pick your poison: politicians, performers, pro athletes, popular icons; such people pooped the public party practically perpetually.
So I like the Naughties, but that's not going to catch on. It's too irreverent to go mainstream and become the decade's "official" name. It's not going to be used by historians a century from now. It's a judgment, not a title.
But this can work: The Singles.
Let's try it on for size.
Concise? Yep. Two syllables, like the other decade names.
Currently in circulation? Nope. Found "The Single Digits," but that's too cumbersome.
Confusing? Only if your conversation was centered on one-dollar bills or unmarried folks.
Culturally transportable? Yep. If a subculture uses positive integers, and it seems most humans have indeed grasped that concept, then it fits your background no matter what.
Numerical? Yep. We're not trying to call it "the iDecade," as one over-clever soul has proposed.
Now does it rhyme with the other decades? Nope. Fail. But that's its only drawback. Well, it is, I'll admit, bland. But "the Sixties" only sounds exciting because of the sex-drugs-rock'n'roll connotations; otherwise, it's just a set of numbers.
Anyway. That's all I have. Please provide feedback. Thanks! Happy New Decade! Especially if you're like most folks, and are glad the Singles are over.
P.S. I'd like to extend Honorable Mention awards to "The Ohs" and "The Techade," although neither rise to a catchy, universal, easily usable, culturally transportable level.
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