Friday, February 4, 2011

I, Republican / 2-4-11

If your mind is sarcasm intolerant, you're relatively safe, for a little while.

At least for the next two posts. I went to this place called gop.com, looked up some of their positions on current issues, and came away with the stuff I most agreed with. Next up, later this weekend, I'll tackle the official 2008 platform, with all its tasteful verbiage on gun control, abortion, same-sex marriage, and other vanilla-flavored topics. Fun!

But as an appetizer to that entree (am I secretly hungry? What's the deal with all the food references?), this is the stuff from the party's website that I can support. (That I can stomach! Hee hee.)

Anyway, consider it an early Valentine to modern conservatism. Well, maybe an only Valentine.

No joke is taking place in this paragraph.

Ground rules and pertinent information: I lifted all wording straight from here, which now rests in my browser history, a fact that is of no interest to you, but rather serves as a personal reminder to go purge that visit later on.

(Done with the humor. Onward and upward.)

"A full commitment to America's Armed Forces, to ensure they are modern, agile and adaptable to the unpredictable range of challenges in the years ahead." Obviously. Without some semblance of national security, it's silly to quibble about prescription drug reimbursement programs for uninsured senior citizens.

"We oppose government-run health care." So do I. I fully endorse government-run health insurance, but competition is the lifeblood of any marketplace, including the medical one. This is a good mantra.

"We support an 'all of the above' approach that includes the production of nuclear power, clean coal, natural gas, solar, wind, geothermal, hydropower, as well as offshore drilling in an environmentally responsible way." For now, this strategy is wholly sensical. The only way to transition out of dependence on dirty energy sources is to start getting our fuel from everywhere we can right now until it becomes possible to get all of it cleanly. (Whenever that is.) So yeah, more nuke plants. Please. A thousand of them ASAP -- as long as they are well regulated, well maintained, and well funded.

"We believe in the importance of sensible business regulations" (love that word, "sensible," so malleable, so subjective) "that promote confidence in our economy among consumer, entrepreneurs and businesses alike." Nice to see the R-word in there. Thank you 2008. No, that doesn't count as snark.

"Republicans believe a judge's role is to interpret the law, not make law from the bench." That's good. I believe the same way, pretty much because I have no choice. The Constitution demands separation of powers. Congress makes the laws. Courts rule on those laws' legality or lack thereof. That's how it works, and when we don't like the result, we don't get to whine -- when a federal judge interprets the Constitution in a way that displeases us, that's kind of his or her job. And as long as that judge doesn't legislate, all is well with the system.

Well that didn't kill me. Maybe the next post will.

Love ya Ronnie!

xoxoxoxo

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i write about politics, spirituality, and sports. no advice columns. no love chat. no boring stories about how cute my kids are when they build stuff with legos. deal.