No, the Wisconsin shenanigans have pissed me off, and the blood continues to proverbially boil, even a few days later.
(Six points of reference before the real post begins: 1. WI is a middle-of-the-road swing state and should be governed as such and not as some wet-dream political laboratory for the far right; 2. Stripping collective bargaining rights from teachers but not from firefighters? Really? I mean, really...; 3. Why have quorum requirements at all if they be bypassed with trickery? Makes no sense; 4. The WI Senate probably violated open meeting laws; 5. Don't try and disguise your power plays as budget solutions; 6. It's just plain wrong to try and legislate unions out of existence.)
Recent events in the Midwest (Ohio and Indiana passed similar measures, although to be fair, how would you know, with Charlie Sheen leading a band of Libyan-Egyptian rebels as they seek to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act while dodging suicide bombers) have been jarring. They have managed to push me back from the terrifying brink of courteous bipartisanship, where I tried to live last week, and have thankfully returned me to my natural home of unvarnished partisan liberalism.
With that out of the way, I think it's safe to say now, politely, factually, but also aggressively, that the Republican Party is officially the Party Of Against.
Somethin' like this has been said before. It was fashionable in many circles to call the GOP the "Party of No" immediately following Obama's election, and for good reason: that was their only move, outnumbered in Congress and the West Wing of the Mixed-Race House. In those happy months, the few remaining R's were virtually powerless to stop the slothlike, icebergian, tectonic-plate-speed advancement of Democratic-sponsored legislation. After all, all they said -- whimpered -- during that golden age was No, no, no.
And while that was adorable for a while, elections have consequences, and R's enjoyed a giant Boehner for the duration of 2010, which climaxed with them retaking the House and almost the Senate, and pushing the president EVEN farther to the right.
But back to the polite, factual, aggressive mutilation promised earlier. And maybe less gutter humor along the way, you ask? Eh. We'll see. I guarantee nothing.
Rules Of The Game: I will make none of the following statements up. I might embellish with Johnvented words. You can't stop me. All claims will be accurate; all opinion will be supported with D-cup arguments. (All worked up, can't help myself.)
I'd wager that some statements found below will even be perceived as complimentary, in the eye of the right kind of conservative beholder.
Crucial Disclaimer: I may generalize at times (i.e., not every Republican disbelieves in climate change), but that will not and should not detract from the accurate nature of what follows.
Opening Salvo: The Republican Party is best defined not by what it stands for, but instead by what it sets its sights on blocking.
List Of Illustrations:
1. R's are against more regulation anywhere, in principle.
2. R's are against more power being consolidated in the federal government's hands.
3. R's are against taking steps to combat climate change.
4. R's are against allowing a certain legal procedure to be performed. (We all know which medical procedure this refers to; it's the one the Supreme Court has declared legal in each of the past four decades.)
5. R's are against legalization of marijuana. 'Cept for my Kentucky buddy Rand Paul, The Perfect One.
6. R's are against same-sex marriage. One fair poll here.
7. R's are against taking steps to prevent accidental gun deaths (30,000 a year). When trigger locks become mandatory, they do their darndest to overturn that kind of life-saving legislation. Next.
8. R's are against universal health care. (Except Mitt Romney, 2006 model year.)
9. R's are against raising taxes in any economic situation on any segment of the population, for any reason. (Still trying to decide if that's hyperbole or not. Still trying.)
10. R's are against any expansion of the social safety net.
11. R's are against the power of unions to collectively bargain. Ohio, Indiana and now Wisconsin legislatures have removed those rights. Michigan's working on it. Pennsylvania too. Conservative darling and New Jersey Governor -- and noted liar -- Chris Christie is tinkering with the idea.
12. R's are against Muslims and Islam in general. (Link, link, link, more links are easy to find but that should be enough.) Free admission: this is a broad generalization I make here. But a good one. And by good, I mean highly defensible. Click the links.
13. R's are against amnesty for illegal immigrants and their children, no matter how long any of the family members have lived stateside. Besides Reagan, of course, he was a fan. But nobody listens to him anymore.
14. R's are against campaign finance reform.
15. R presidents are, in practice, squarely against balancing the federal budget. They're against even trying.
16. R legislators are against equal pay for equal work legislation. The vote in the House two years ago on the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act: 250-177. (The big number was the Democrats. The teeny tiny number was the other guys. Emphasis on guys.)
That ought to do it. Did I forget anything? (Like reparations, or habeas corpus, which I didn't forget, but decided to leave out?) Well, if I did, this guy probably said it, since his like-minded post went live while I took a break to work for a living. Jerk.
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