Katy's dad formally announced he's running for President this morning, joining a crowded field of one principled libertarian, one billionaire who's never held office, one serial marriagist, two Mormons (ed. note: unlike most right-wing evangelicals, I have no personal issues with the LDS faith), one wild-eyed homophobe, and lastly, whatever Tim Pawlenty's handlers want him to be this week. Plus maybe Sarah "There Is No I In Quit" Palin. If we're lucky.
Perry's announcement comes with a negative amount of surprise. His entrance was long rumored, and he did so officially Saturday morning. Welcome to the party, Governor.
(Rejected material, on account of it being too easy:
Yes sir, what this nation needs right now is another Texas governor who wears his supposed religion on his sleeve.)
Real material:
Yes sir, what this nation needs right now is a guy who can create jobs. Texas' unemployment rate was a shiny 4.2 percent when Perry took office in 2000. It was still 4.4 in early 2008. Now it's 8.4, and it's been hangin' in the 8's since. Sure sounds like a guy who can transcend macroeconomic trends and can put people to work regardless.
Yes sir, what this nation needs right now is a guy who can lead us out of perilous debt. Like in Texas. With GOP control of every branch of government and the courts, he implemented the kind of fiscally sound ideas that... oh... they're going to fall short by $27 billion in the next two years. Proportionally, that's a larger deficit than California.
Yes sir, what this nation needs right now is a guy who can fix health care. His solution in Texas has been clean and cheap: stop letting people get coverage at all. One in four Texans goes without health insurance, compared to one in six nationally. That's because 550,000 jobs in Texas are minimum wage and come without pesky "benefits" like insurance. In fact, Texas leads the nation, tied with Mississippi, in jobs that pay the minimum or lower, and those kinds of jobs have doubled since 2008.
Yes sir, what this nation needs right now is a guy who can pray.
Well, that can't work any worse that what he's tried so far.
This whole post was too easy. Bad politicians are everywhere-- no news there. However, I can see this one being a little extra-fun. Still, a waste of your time. I know a couple of Texas, GOP members that have to plug their nose to vote for this guy. I hope he gets lampooned.
ReplyDeleteWell, I admit it took me less than an hour to write. In that respect, it was, quoting you, too easy.
ReplyDeleteHowever, when a guy bases his campaign on something he calls The Texas Miracle, and that miracle is nothing more than an illusion, I feel a righteous need to call him on it.
When you think about it, he made it too easy on me. His fault, really.
Conclusion: I can see a Romney-Perry ticket too clearly to let the dude skate by when his state suffers from exactly everything he's blaming Obama for.