House of Palin / 7-4-09

Sometimes I feel like the last two years have been the golden age of U.S. politics.

We elected a black man president after he redefined campaign finance strategy. He defeated a woman for the nomination of his party, a party which was left for dead seven years ago but now trounces the opposition at every turn. Unthinkable deficits, brought on by the worst economic crash since the Great Depression, threaten the administration's overdue plans to reform health care and fix our broken energy policy. A Senate race that gives one party a filibuster-proof majority took eight months and several recounts to complete. As two wars rage on, you can look out and spot three bogeymen on the horizon: terrorism, climate change and Social Security.

And then there's Sarah Palin. In her persona, we have ourselves the most polarizing, unpredictable, riveting, intriguing, flabbergasting, compelling train wreck of a gifted politician since Ronald Reagan.

So when Palin, in her mavericky way, announced on Thursday her resignation from the governorship of Alaska, effective in three weeks, the Internet almost broke.

Theories explaining her stunning decision have cascaded online in waves of millions. There are a few that are gaining traction, best as I can tell. They are:

a) She thinks resigning is a good move politically; why waste time governing a piddly state when you can be a national figure at the time of your party's greatest need?

b) Criminal charges are coming. (Try this one or any of these on for size.)

c) She's got some personal troubles or family troubles to attend to, and she'd rather do so as a private citizen. (Substance abuse, even greater family dysfunction, blackmail, grave illness all spring to mind.)

These theories have merit. In fact, why not two or three at once? This is, after all, Sarah Palin we're talking about here. But, in boring fashion, I'm simply of the mind that she's like everyone else: she's cashing in while she still can.

Faced with a job with little security, intense public pressure and a looming mega-crisis (Alaska's future budget woes are said to be on par with California's), who wouldn't be looking for something cushier? And what if that cushier job paid in the millions of dollars annually? And involved soaking up gallons of love on a daily basis from adoring fans? And getting to say the mavericky things you always wanted to say but didn't, out of what little self-preservation you had?

Yep, Mrs. Palin is bound for a good old-fashioned ka-ching payday. Or five. Her book advance is -- cue the violins -- a paltry $7 million. Her potential radio audience should rival Rush's. She'll always automatically have a job with Fox News and a hundred speeches lined up on the lecture circuit at any given time.

But like I said, just because she's takin' it to the bank, that doesn't exclude a) or b) or c) from earlier on. I'd even expect one or more of those scenarios to play out. She probably would envision herself as a tested, wiser outsider in the 2016 presidential primaries. She probably has broken various laws as governor. She probably has plenty more personal drama up her sleeve.

I could write five hundred words on her incoherent, oddly puerile resignation letter, posted here. I could spend another five hundred discussing the political strategy and timing, or lack thereof, she exhibited this week. I could write five hundred more on how I personally feel about her. (Since she and I are such great friends, yeah ya betcha!)

But I'm not sure she's all that complicated, and I'm not sure it's really a hard choice for her to leave the difficult job with the decent paycheck for the undemanding job with the filthy salary. Would that very same choice be agonizing for any of us?