If you mean to sign a pledge defending marriage, but instead you end up offending it, you might be Newt Gingrich.
First of all, I'm sorry -- really sorry. Secondly, you should rethink your decision to sign this.
This is, in short, the latest Republican-sponsored quixotic battle against same-sex marriage.
Given that you cheated on your first two wives, once while you were impeaching Clinton for lying about sexual indiscretions, then also while another was fighting off cancer (successfully!), you're better off signing an overt declaration of war on marriage rather than a laughable oath to "protect" it from committed people who would like their children to grow up in a stable home where two loving parents don't have to explain to their children why the government disallows their union.
Long sentence there. Shorter ones now.
Now go win the nomination, you double-talking sleazebag. Please.
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I was expecting more Newt Gingrich jokes ala Jeff Foxworthy.
ReplyDelete"If you were upset that Christie dropped out of the race because he was' heavier than you...you might be Newt Gingrich.
Too much material. I froze from a plethora of comic avenues, like a brand-new driver stuck in a massive roundabout.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I already used my "best" material with the headline from last month -- "The Gingrich Who Stole Christmas."