Milton Bradley Lost the Media Game / 5-11-11

Milton Bradley, the baseball player, has his fans.

They're here, here, here, here and here. Just a sampling. (I freely admit the third link is lame. But still fun.)

Anyway. This seems like a lot of fandom calories dedicated to a guy who has the reputation not just for sowing seeds, but planting entire crops of discontent wherever he lands. He played 216 games with the Dodgers, and that was the most he logged with any one team over a 12-year career. Easy to do if you're Jamey Wright. Harder to do when you lead the AL in OPS in 2008.

Well, to offer a slight understatement, Milton hasn't made best friends with everyone at every stop.

"You understand why they haven't won in 100 years here," is how he described the environment in the Chicago Cubs organization. They traded him before he played another game wearing their uniform.

"You wonder what his problem is," one ex-teammate reportedly said.

Mariners manager Eric Wedge is personally aware of MB's uncuddly side.

There's plenty more along those lines. You don't need the whole resume. It's fun/maddening to remember he threw the ball in the stands after two outs against the Twins a couple years ago. Use that googly thing if you want more anecdotes.

Milton inspires a wide range of emotional reactions. It's not so hard, in the game of baseball, to become a villain, a laughingstock, or a feared offensive force. It's not so easy to pull all three off.

I'm not sure that the apparent trichotomy -- if it even exists -- comes from MB being somehow deranged, bipolar, manic depressive, although one of those may well be a real condition of his. Not a shrink here. Let me repeat: I'm not capable of telling if anything ails him, mentally. What I do know is that he treated the media like dogshit year after year after year, and he paid the price.

Milton Bradley spent his career losing the media game. Maybe he cared too much about what people thought of him; maybe he cared too little. Those are equally valid theories. What's not in dispute, though, is that he made it very, very easy for people who covered him to dislike him. The consequence: bad press. Simple cause and effect.

I don't know that individual reporters across the country deserved his disdain. Maybe they did. Speaking as a former sports reporter, journalists are just as capable of being jerks as the next guy. Humans!

Point is, you can treat the media like stinky stinky doo-doo if you're anonymous little me. Works less well if you're a public figure of any kind.

That being said, Milton earned some of the unflattering words printed about him.

Earlier this year, an arrest for what might or might not be domestic violence (no charges were filed) doesn't make him any more endearing or defensible to those who would work to endear him to us or defend him in the court of public opinion.

But digging a little further, why should any of us rely on the impressions of any media member to form a judgment on a player's inner qualities and deficiencies? Why should any of us try to ascertain if a socially distant guy is someone we'd like, or wouldn't? And by socially distant, I don't mean reclusive. I mean, if we can't get to know our sports idols (and very few of us fans get to do so), then why should we act like we do?

Come to think of it, that explains why I can't stomach comments from people who purport to know the guy beyond the player. Get over yourselves.

To conclude with a non-conclusion, our lack of understanding of Milton, the man, is why this blogger's piece from Monday is so spot-on. He admits he bought a view obstructed ticket to Milton Bradley: The Show.

We all did.

Reckful Baseball Predictions / 3-31-11

Baseball!

For your amusement (and your amusement only), here is how the 2011 season will play out. No no, it's true, I confess, I'm cheating a little here, because 0.12 percent of this year's games have already been played. And I'm not taking a whole lot of chances. Whatever the opposite of reckless is -- that's how my foreseeing organs foresee the future.

American League, Final Standings

WEST

1. Oakland, 88-74

2. Texas, 85-77

3. Seattle, 77-85

4. Anaheim, 76-86

CENTRAL

1. Minnesota, 90-72

2. Chicago, 88-74

3. Cleveland, 79-83

4. Detroit, 78-84

5. Kansas City, 67-95

EAST

1. Boston, 101-61

2. Toronto, 89-73

3. Tampa Bay, 86-76

4. New York, 83-79

5. Baltimore, 59-103

National League, Final Standings

WEST

1. San Francisco, 89-73

2. Los Angeles, 86-76

3. Colorado, 85-77

4. San Diego, 80-82

5. Arizona, 56-106

CENTRAL

1. Milwaukee, 91-71

2. Cincinnati, 90-72

3. Chicago, 88-74

4. St. Louis, 81-81

5. Houston, 66-96

6. Pittsburgh, 63-99

EAST

1. Philadelphia, 99-63

2. Atlanta, 90-72

3. Florida, 82-80

4. Washington, 76-86

5. New York, 67-95

Playoffs (aka Crapshoot Rounds)

American League

Boston def. Oakland 3-1

Minnesota def. Toronto 3-2

Boston def. Minnesota 4-1

National League

Philadelphia def. Cincinnati 3-1

San Francisco def. Milwaukee 3-2

Philadelphia def. San Francisco 4-1

World Series

Philadelphia def. Boston 4-1

Explanations and Rationale, Top Ten Style

10. So fun to root against the Yankees. They are one significant pitching injury away from a .500 season. (Bad year for NY, with the Messed-up Mets finishing in last place.)

9. Mariners will surprise the world by reaching .500 in August. Then they will fold, as expected.

8. Yes, everyone is picking Boston and Philly. There's a reason for that. Many reasons actually. Both teams are deep, flush with starting pitching and offense, and both squads are hungry for more success than they experienced last season.

7. Blue Jays will profit most from the Yankees' temporary demise. Toronto last made the playoffs in 1993. That was before the wild-card was invented. Now they get to be one.

6. A's win a weak AL West; Giants overcome injuries to take the NL West almost by default.

5. Seriously, never root against the Twins. What are you, an idiot?

4. Ichiro racks up 240 more hits and bats .355, second in the league.

3. Cliff Lee is the World Series MVP. (Risky predictions are overrated.)

2. Batting champ Dustin Pedroia is the AL MVP; Tim Lincecum is the NL MVP and Cy Young; AL top pitcher is Trevor Cahill.

1. A record six no-hitters are pitched. One by Felix Hernandez, one by Lee, one by some guy nobody has ever heard of before this season. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens both serve time in jail for perjury, and nobody hits 50 home runs. Coincidentally.

Observacations, Vol. II / 1-18-11

Second in my back-to-work three-part series.

Part Un: Politix. Soo yesterday.

Part Deux: Sports. I would link to it, but you're reading it, and that would be 11 percent too silly for even me.

Part Trois: Musings on God and god.

Then we (I) will be all caught up after our (my) five (five) weeks off.

FIRST AND TEN, EIGHT AND TEN

After the NFL switches from a 16-game to an 18-game schedule (and the move is inevitablish, given that the owners would make more money and the players' union would negotiate for more roster spots), a team will finish its season 8-10. Obviously. And yet, that team -- the future Cleveland Browns -- will not be the first-ever pro football team to do so. The Seahawks already pulled it off. Poor Cleveland. Can't even lose with distinction.

Scenarios by which a team arrives at 8-10, given that it takes a winning record to make the playoffs every year except 2010: Zero. A team that qualifies at 8-8 can't lose twice in the playoffs -- it takes a team with nine regular-season losses to finish 8-10. And only once in a full NFL season has a losing team won a division. That was 16 days ago. Yay Hawks! History! Notoriety!

Not only that, but a 7-9 division winner would have to win its first playoff game (against an actual good team) for it to reach 8-9 before losing its next one to complete the uncharted course to 8-10.

Fun fact: Had the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl -- stifle your laugh! They could have won that stinkin' Bears game, which would have set up a Packers-Seahawks NFC Championship game in Seattle. Are you going to bet against them at Qwest? So. As I was saying, had they reached, and gotten properly annihilated in, the Super Bowl, they would have ended the season 10-10.

So to recap: When you're asked, as the final question of a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit (non-holographic version) in your retirement home in the year 2059, which pro football team was the first-ever to post an 8-10 record, you'll remember (ha!) to answer Seattle. You're welcome. Pass the Jello.

26 DAYS LATER

Pitchers and catchers report in 26 days. For the Mariners, the stench of last season can't dissipate too soon. Picked by many to win a weak-looking division, they finished dead last instead, and along the way, managed to score fewer runs than any other DH-carrying team, ever. For a brief look at how rotten the year was, click here.

So, to address the blood-gushing head wound that was 2010, they made this litany of significant moves:

...

That's it. No new starting pitchers, no big bats -- one stud part-time defender and one medium-sized bat and one serviceable catcher is the extent of the renovation.

No, the M's didn't technically go for the big upgrade; instead, they opted to pinch a giant loaf containing the worthless Casey Kotchman, Jose Lopez, Milton Bradley (will be cut within days), Josh Wilson (back to AAA) and Rob Johnson, who led the league in passed balls by a wide margin despite playing only half the time.

Instead, they'll count on the young guys and the nondescript new guys -- 1B Justin Smoak, LF Michael Saunders, IF Brendan Ryan, 2011 3B Chone Figgins and not 2010 2B Chone Figgins, C Miguel Olivo, DH Jack Cust, plus eventual 2B Dustin Ackley -- to make us forget last season's unwatchability.

And to a certain extent, it'll work. They'll win far more than 61 games, because the pitching will be as good as 2010, the defense will be better, probably by a wide margin, and finally, the offense will necessarily improve. You can't get worse than the worst ever. Probability won't allow it; the power of regression is too strong, almost all of the time.

The 2011 squad will win at least 78 games. And with money to spend in 2012 when a couple big contracts come off the books, the future is bright. Don't buy any shades just yet. But these guys are better than they look at first glance. I promise.

VIOLENCE, SILENCE, SALIENCE

So now, I find myself wondering if I have a moral compass at all when it comes to sports figures in trouble.

I've been in homes where parents abuse their kids verbally and physically. Traveling to 30 homes each week, with a clientele constantly in flux, lets me see a broad range of middle- and upper-class families in action, and sometimes their best behavior deserts them. So I've discovered I'm content to charge abusive parents a fee to teach their children, because their money is just as good as the next family's.

Yet I'm inclined to disapprove of my team hiring an assistant with a history of violent behavior. Yet I want a guy who pled no contest to some ugly charges to get a chance to work in his field, for now, at least for now. Even yetter, I agree with people who want their favorite club to release a prominent baseball player arrested for assault just earlier today. And yettest of all, when this guy did this in a playoff game, I and 67,000 of my closest friends celebrate so raucously we cause an earthquake.

Sometimes this fairness-justice-punishment-redemption-second-chance thing we call "life" is hard to sort out, especially when rooting interests and mercy and employment rights and even humility get in the way. Darn you, nuance! Darn you, forgiveness! Darn you, blind spots! Darn you all to gosh-darn heck already. Gosh.

I Knew I Picked the Right Guy / 9-1-10

I haven't posted on the Depressors, I mean, the Mariners, in a while.

But this upcoming chart I got from one of my favorite sites, ussmariner, and I have to brazenly steal it and bring it to you, my fellow sufferers.

The next time I hear someone complain that Ichiro, of all people, is bringing the team down, I swear I will plead temporary insanity at the resulting trial.

See what I mean:

(Each line includes the batter's spot in the lineup, then how that Mariner has performed, then how the league has performed on average, and the difference.)

Batting average

1. / .308 / .269 / +.039

2. / .240 / .265 / -.025

3. / .221 / .275 / -.054

4. / .244 / .276 / -.032

5. / .210 / .269 / -.059

6. / .244 / .255 / -.011

7. / .206 / .250 / -.044

8. / .212 / .242 / -.030

9. / .222 / .244 / -.022

On-Base Percentage

1. / .360 / .332 / +.028

2. / .328 / .335 / -.007

3. / .303 / .355 / -.052

4. / .293 / .349 / -.056

5. / .262 / .339 / -.077

6. / .311 / .318 / -.007

7. / .284 / .315 / -.031

8. / .283 / .305 / -.022

9. / .271 / .302 / -.031

Slugging Percentage

1. / .391 / .366 / +.025

2. / .285 / .402 / -.117

3. / .374 / .441 / -.067

4. / .384 / .476 / -.092

5. / .302 / .450 / -.148

6. / .376 / .415 / -.039

7. / .281 / .399 / -.118

8. / .345 / .379 / -.034

9. / .318 / .353 / -.035

I could comment further on the historically stinkacious abhorrency of some of these stats, but the pluses and minuses kind of speak for themselves, no?

Take 5 / 12-07-09

(First things first: Apologies to Dave Brubeck for the headline.)

Here are five quick takes on the three topics that are legal to discuss on this blog. By the way, that holy trinity is comprised of politics, sports and spirituality. In case you hadn't noticed.

I. Health care reform

A bill reforming health care will clear the Senate. Sometime this month or next. It may or may not be a good bill. What's a good bill, you ask? Something that addresses the unethical number of uninsured Americans and something that provides for an avenue for certain folks to purchase government-issued health insurance in certain states; in other words, something that brings down long-term costs to society by accomplishing those two goals.

A great bill would be Medicare For Everyone. That's not on the table, sadly. But with incremental progress, we can get there, and this bill would appear to represent incremental progress in that direction. Just because it doesn't go far enough doesn't make it a bad bill, just a placeholder.

The opposition will not muster the 41 votes necessary to filibuster the bill, whatever form it takes. Filibustering, for the political novices out there, is the act of NOT ending debate on a bill. Debate must end, by a 60-40 or greater vote, for a piece of legislation to be considered for passage. (Even more parenthetically, it is FALSE and UNTRUE and INACCURATE that a bill must receive 60 votes to clear the Senate and head to President Obama's desk. It only needs a simple majority of 51 votes, or failing that, 50 plus Vice President Biden's.) So a very determined group of 40 or more Senators can keep legislation from ever COMING to a vote by filibustering it, but it takes 51 to vote it down once it clears that hurdle. Yes, I'm done with caps lock for a few paragraphs.

In short, not that I have any brevity-ability whatsoever, too many individual Democrats have too much to lose, and by "too much" I mean any position of privilege or leadership or committee chairmanship, by filibustering a bill brought to the floor by their own party. A number of D's may elect to vote against the bill after it clears the filibuster, but they will not commit political suicide by snubbing their self-interested noses at the party leaders. And if one of them does (yes, I'm glaring at you, Joe L.), Obama will pick off one of the Maine Republicans to break ranks.

II. TARP refund

Apparently, of the approximately $97,245 quopthrillion earmarked last year for the bailing out of financial institutions, the government will receive a refund of $200 billion. (Yes, the first figure is a slight slight slight tiny little tiny exaggeration. The second number is accuratish. Truthy, even.)

Early speculation had Obama laundering that money into a jobs bill. Because there seems to be a rumor out there that unemployment is high. Well, BHO said today he's gonna use a chunk of it to pay down the projected budget deficit instead.

This move is either shrewd, concessionary (not an actual word), morally responsible, or a combination of all three. (Always my favorite. The large supreme sans olives.)

Shrewd because it appeals to independents for whom the mounting deficit is alarming. Concessionary because Republicans have hypocritically been clamoring for excess funds to be applied to the gaping budget hole. (This despite the fact that their presidents practically invented the deficit.) And morally responsible because a good way to screw our kids and grandkids over is to leave them with a crippling national debt. We should be teaching them loads and loads of Mandarin, by the way. Just in case.

All three of the above, in 40-25-35 proportions, seems about right.

III. Merriners ad newe thurd basemen

Seeattle whill sine thurd basemen Chone (prunounced "Schawn") Figgins tuah 4-yeer, $36-miliun kontrakt tudde'.

Two out of the last 20 words are spelled right... Yes, Mr. Figgins spells his name so it'll rhyme with scone, just not the way you're necessarily used to saying "scone" unless you're from London, Manchester, Sydney, or North Uppitycrust. Parents are interesting people sometimes.

Anyway. Figgins is awesome. Ichiro-lite with the bat, only with more walks, and a good defender to boot. The M's will annoy their way to many wins this season with those two dudes at the top of the lineup. I look forward to many 32-pitch first innings from the opposing pitcher. Hee hee.

IV. Tiger

Newsflash: Tiger Woods has a penis.

V. Copin' Hagglin'

(One of my best/worst recent puns. Admire it.)

Obama hosted Al Gore in the Oval Office as worldwide climate change talks in Denmark began. Other than providing Fox "News" with a chance to put two of their favorite villians (where was Hillary!?) in the same picture without having to use Photoshop, the meeting was uneventful... except to remind us that for all of Obama's compromising with Republicans, he is committed to addressing climate change from an orthodoxically liberal point of view.

To clarify that hideous sentence, he might ditch the public option, he might work a bunch of tax cuts into a stimulus bill, he might drag his feet on closing the Guantanamo prison, but he's holding the line on climate change. 17 percent cuts in CO2 by 2020 is his short-term goal; that climbs to 83 percent cuts by 2050. This is another reason he has a chance to be the most important/successful President in recent history.

P.S. I had fun with some of the links. Enjoy. Also, I'll try to not go a month between posts again. But no guarantees.

Ten Free Predictions / 9-22-09

No charge.

Events are predicted in order of occurrence, with numbers reversed because I'm a bit of a weirdo.

10. Health care reform will pass, without a public health insurance option, but with a mechanism to activate government insurance if certain conditions are met.

9. You or your significant other or one of your siblings will get H1N1. You/He/She will spend a day in bed then be fine.

8. The Seahawks will finish the year 8-8, "tied" with the 49ers atop the NFC West, except San Fran will win the division lamely on a tie-breaker.

7. A major cell phone provider will fail and be gobbled up by a competitor by early 2011. (I'm looking right at you, Sprint. And glancing sideways at you, T-Mobile. And wishing it were you, Verizon. Bite me, at&t.)

6. The Dow Jones will reach and surpass its former closing-bell peak of 14,164.53 sometime in the fall of 2011.

5. The Mariners will reach the 2011 World Series. No further details provided at this time.

4. Barack Hussein Obama will coast to re-election as President of the United States of America. Coast, I tell you. Reverse Reagan '84 style.

3. The Republican Party will split in half sometime in or after 2013. A chain reaction will ensue, culminating in the split of the Democratic Party and the emergence of the Green Party as a non-negligible political force. Five parties are in our future. Don't try and stop it.

2. A major terrorist attack on par with or exceeding the carnage of 9/11 will take place on American soil in the teen years of this century. Tragically, we may have to get used to one of these per decade, as our government continues to do nowhere near enough to stem the tide of anti-Americanism.

1. Some time after 2030, retired government officials, prominent scholars and brilliant political scientists will converge on Philadelphia for a Constitutional Convention during which they will update the Constitution to ensure its survival in an age quite different than 1787.

2000 and counting / 9-6-09

Relax. Not a post about Bush and Gore and Florida.
I think the average sports fan in the Northwest forgets the following fact a little too easily:
If Ichiro Suzuki were to never play another professional baseball game again, he would still be elected to the Hall of Fame.
Ichiro is uniquely awesome... wait wait, hold on a sec, let's not go down this path, you know, the one along which I heap every superlative in the thesaurusictionary on him, and which ends with me pulling off my bra and hurling it onstage, screaming at the top of my estrogen-pulsating lungs, "I LOVE YOU ICHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No. Strictly a mathematical affair tonight.
Since his arrival in MLB in the spring of 2001, Ichiro has accumulated exactly, precisely, 2,000 hits, on the button. Got the milestone hit earlier this afternoon in Oakland.
He has 250 hits more than the second-place guy (Derek Jeter, maybe you've heard of him) during that time frame.
Ichiro is the fourth player in history to rack up 2,000 or more hits in a single decade. (Joining Rogers Hornsby, Sam Rice, and Pete Rose, all of whom played all 10 years that decade, not just nine like Ichiro. Slackers.)
He set the single-season hits record along the way, 262 in 2004. That record had stood since 1920. (Bragging alert: I was in the stadium.)
He has more hits in the past nine years than ANY OTHER PLAYER ever had in ANY NINE-YEAR PERIOD in baseball history. Look here for confirmation.
He was 27 when his career began on this side of the ocean; in Japan's pro league, Ichiro racked up 1,278 base knocks. Should he reach 2,979 as a major leaguer, he will have more professional base hits than Pete Rose. Yeah, the guy who holds the all-time record.
He's 35 and he beats out infield hits every week.
He's hitting .363.
Eventually, he'll retire. Not soon. But eventually. Instead of taking him for granted, as I sometimes have, keep in mind that he is one of the greatest baseball players in history. We're insanely lucky to have him.

Ichirobama / 7-16-09

Been on vacation for a while. I think I'll ease back into things with some fluff.

Set aside the fact that this picture is just pretty cool. I mean, it's two men at the top of their game, professionally, having a chat. One of 'em, completely and totally out of character, has that giddy schoolgirl look. And then the non-baseball player of the two is signing a baseball for the other guy.

No, set that aside and ponder the common points of these two dudes' lives. Both lefthanders, they broke new ground in each of their fields. Ichiro was the first Japanese position player in the majors, owns an MVP award and two batting titles, and was the catalyst in driving the 2001 Mariners to win more games than any other team in history. He'll be inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame someday. Meanwhile, you'll be no doubt shocked to discover that Obama was our first African-American President. I kid you not.

They each had to overcome mountains of prejudice. They've each had to have heard "No, you can't" more than their fair share. They each are tremendously poised, preternaturally calm, confident, cool cucumbers... despite the fact that they can't go anywhere in public without being mobbed.

Okay, okay, I'm going to try and put the man-crushes away for a couple of days at least and get to some serious work. But no guarantees.

Mariners 2009: Must-see TV? / 7-5-09

One word sums up the Mariners' 2008 season: Unwatchable.

With the bar set so low, the 2009 edition of the M's only had to be mediocre, and the year would be considered a success.

Well, these guys have leapfrogged mediocre and are threatening to become good. In the past ten days, they've won series at Los Angeles AND Boston... oh yeah, did I mention those are the two best teams in baseball. They beat C. C. Sabathia in New York. Felix Hernandez is the best starter in the American League, and currently (this won't last) David Aardsma is the best closer in the league. Ichiro is on track to score another batting title.

This surprising Seattle club is turning heads without:

*a catcher, third baseman or shortstop of note
*three of its starters from April
*anything substantial, offensively, from its DH and bench.

The M's will finish above .500 unless injuries ravage the team further. They may fall just short of a playoff spot, but the future is bright. Imagine if GM Jack Zduriencik can find a couple more decent players to plug in at the trouble spots... they'll move from watchable to ready for prime time.

Mariners continue to tread water / 6-20-09

Mariners made it back to .500 today with a 7-3 victory. Thought you'd like to know.

Everyone wants to talk about home runs, great pitching performances, and bad calls as avenues to winning or losing.

Tonight illustrated the importance of defense.

An error in the first leads to a run for Arizona; a misplay in the outfield leads to Seattle's first run later on. A nice running catch by Arizona's left fielder saves two runs at the time. A dumb error by Seattle's second baseman allowed another run to score for Arizona and left the outcome of the game if not in doubt, at least within worrying range. Arizona's shortstop made two excellent plays. The game ended when Seattle's left fielder climbed the short wall in foul territory and reached in between two fans to make the final out. Seattle's catcher scored by evading a lackluster tag at the plate after a poor throw by an Arizona outfielder. Arizona's pitcher deflected a batted ball off his own glove, preventing his teammates from turning a double play.

The M's would have won this one 1-0 in a cleanly fielded game. Or lost it 2-1 if the Diamondbacks had been less sloppy.

The next few weeks will illustrate just how important defense is to the Mariners: starting left fielder Endy Chavez is out for the season when a poor defensive teammate ran into him and blew up his knee; third baseman Adrian Beltre, considered one of the top gloves at his position, is less than 100 percent with shoulder issues; and both middle infielders run the risk of being traded midseason, in part because of their subpar defense.

If the M's proceed to lose a lot of games 5-4 and 4-3 in the next few weeks, it should be easy to point nightly at a defensive meltdown that cost them a run. Don't automatically assume Ichiro should have gotten another hit or Griffey should have launched another homer, or Felix should have struck out one more batter.

Mariners drop a really, really close one / 6-1-09

OAKLAND - The Mariners just can't catch a break, as evidenced by today's 0-0 loss to the A's.

Five Seattle pitchers combined to hold Oakland to five hits and no runs over 16 innings Sunday afternoon, yet the M's were forced to forfeit the game in the middle of the 17th frame when the umpires scientifically determined that the Mariners had a zero percent chance that day of reaching home plate before making three outs.

The low, low final score sets a new major league record for fewest runs scored without use of a soccer ball.

The Elias Sports Bureau believes this is the first case of a team shutting out its opposition yet losing the game.

"More research is needed on this issue," Elias spokesman Guy Ked said. "But we can confirm that the game set a new record for craptastic suckfestiness. No offense."

Following the umpires' controversial ruilng, the Mariners were serenaded off the field by a loud and delirious contingent of A's fans who chanted "So-do No-jo! (clap, clap, clapclapclap) So-do No-jo!" An irate Jose Lopez had to be restrained from charging the crowd, although he did relieve his frustration by swinging at eleven cups of Gatorade in the dugout. All eleven remain standing.

The Mariners wasted a 8-for-9 night by Ichiro, who tripled twice, doubled twice, stole five bases and was stranded at third base seven times. Starter Felix Hernandez gave up two hits and no walks in eight innings and the bullpen allowed four Oakland baserunners the rest of the way, three of those on errors by shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt (0-2 with three walks and four sacrifices).

Third baseman Adrian Beltre saved three runs with a bases-loaded defensive gem in the bottom of the eighth but finished 0-for-9 with seven strikeouts and 24 men left on base. His batting average fell one point.

"We didn't even have to look that one up," Ked said. "Totally a record for LOB. Not even close."

Eight different Mariners were thrown out at the plate in the game. First baseman Russell Branyan, fresh off a 4-for-5, 3-HR night Saturday, had the day off.

Tonight's umpiring crew will determine ten minutes prior to game time, based on the lineup M's skipper Don Wakamatsu turns in, whether the contest will proceed or another forfeit is forcibly declared.

"I'm thinking of hitting Rob Johnson cleanup and putting YuBet in the two hole again," Wakamatsu said.

Fathers and sons and baseball / 5-17-09

All four of us went to the game at Safeco today. Mariners vs. Red Sox.

With our family's ties to Boston, Aaron elected to wear the Sox cap, which clashed violently with my M's gear. It was adorable. The boys spent the morning explaining to me who they were going to root for at which times, and what it means when you put the cap on backwards. (It means you're temporarily switching allegiances, come on, don't you know, Dad? Turn yours around so you can root for Boston! Come on Dad!)

So anyway, got to the game early, plunked ourselves down in our upper deck seats. And what do we see... row right in front of us: Father in M's paraphernalia, son in Red Sox t-shirt. Row right behind us: Dad wearing Seattle stuff, kid with the Boston shirt.

Classic.

By the way, Mariners won, 3-2, on a two-out, bottom-of-the-ninth hit. Must have been an early Father's Day special.

Jury out on the M's / 5-15-09

Oh, that jury is not coming in anytime soon.

Observations:

1a. The Mariners are not as bad as they looked this past week.
1b. The Mariners are not as good as they looked in April.
2. These guys are practically never out of a game. Lester working on a shutout? So what? We have Ichiro. Down 7-4 in the 12th? Let's play 15.
3. Aardsma is our closer. I need no more Morrow sorrow.
4. Wish we could get a steadier diet of Kenneth Griffey. Purely for sentimental reasons. This is probably a .500 team, and if so, I want to see the old dude play. But if we're tied for the division lead on Labor Day, I don't care if he rides the bench the whole month.
5. But realistically, too many holes across the roster to win the division.
6. The M's lead the league in three categories: Most tons of fingernails collectively chewed by fan base; most heart meds sold to fan base; most theoretical Scrabble points garnered by playing the names of the manager and general manager and pitcher-catcher combo. (Wakamatsu / Zduriencik / Jakubauskas / Johjima)

Taking the whole family to Sunday's game vs. Boston. Good times.

The M's are for real. Or maybe not. / 5-3-09

So the Mariners have a winning record one month into the season, and everyone is asking if they're for real. Pardon me while I restrain a giggle and pinch myself a little -- I just reread that first sentence.

Well, for the disbelievers, here's this nugget: the M's are in first place, but so are the Kansas City Royals.

For the believers: Felix Hernandez, Erik Bedard and Jarrod Washburn are a combined 9-2 with a combined ERA in the mid-twos.

Naysayers: Junior and Adrian Beltre are at the Mendoza line. Beltre hasn't hit a homer yet. Washburn's success won't last. Morrow's hurt, who knows for how long. Carlos Silva and Miguel Batista have pulses and are drawing obscene paychecks. There's no proven lefty in the pen.

Ayesayers: Griffey and Beltre are about to heat up. Russell Branyan is a stud, .320 with 6 HR through Sunday. Have you heard of a little guy we like to call I-chi-RO? The bullpen is deep. In fact, the team in general is deeper than any time since 2002.

I'm a fan, so I have the fog of bias clouding up my lens. But I know this team will get shut out fairly often, it will lost plenty of games 3-2, and the bullpen will walk its way to more than a few losses.

This club also won't lose eight in a row all year. The starting pitching talent won't allow it. And the West is woefully weak this year.

It's not impossible to spend a glorious summer watching the M's get as lucky as the 2006 Cardinals, who scraped together a forgettable 83-78 record, won a crummy division, and then rode an unexpected hot streak to a perfectly valid World Series title. Hey, stop laughing! It's baseball. I'm told anything can happen.